“Hon hon hon! I em zee embodiment of ‘deegnitee!’ Wee wee!”*

And speaking of wee wee…

I’m not really sure what this is, but the shape kind of rings a bell.
(I’m thinking…Arby’s?)

And speaking of belles, the bodice on this dress could really use some work:

It’s LIFT and separate, girls. No Yankee doodle dandy wants saggy clappers, if yaknowwuddamean.

Remember: patriotism is a family affair:

If not necessarily “family friendly.”

And for a little “variety,” there’s always the WTF CCC:

Since today is about our military, though, try to keep the focus on those great men and women who have served in our armed forces.

See how the focal point here is the cookie soldier being run down and fired on by the chocolate tank?

That’s NOT what I had in mind.


And finally, you know that feeling of satisfaction you get when a hoity-toity grammar snob corrects your grammar, but s/he’s WRONG?

This feels kind of like that.

Quick grammar tip: if you can substitute the word “him,” use “whom.” But if “he” works, use “who.” Ergo, “HE paid,” not “HIM paid.”

Thanks to Margaret D., Amy W., Andrea P., Holly Anne, Andrea P., Lyndi R., & Becky D., for whom [eyebrow waggle] I will be forever grateful. Or at least until tomorrow.

*John’s Disclaimer: This was Jen’s attempt at a French accent. See, ’cause the dog is a poodle, and poodles speak French. Although he also looks a bit English with the mustache and goatee. Or maybe a bit like Colonel Sanders. Oh! Who was a Colonel!** In the military!

So, in conclusion, eating KFC today is patriotic, and all poodles speak French. Thank you. That is all.

** John’s Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: Actually, he was only a private but was given the honorary title of Kentucky Colonel later in life. Man! You guys*** are picky!

*** John’s Disclaimer to the Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: By “guys” I mean people, and not necessarily one gender over another. I could have just as easily used “folks.” though that would imply that you live in the country. Which you may not. Okay, I’m done.